I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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