it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Success! We fucked roommates!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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