great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
