we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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