a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
