I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
