is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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