11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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