I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
