dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
