Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
