why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
