I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
