I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
