My Higher Power is John Stamos
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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