DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
