I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Randomize
