she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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