Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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