No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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