Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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