White coat. Heels.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
this hospital has no fireball
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
