i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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