I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
