hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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