hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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