We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The best revenge is premature balding
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
