He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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