Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
