She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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