Whod you bang
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
