I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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