I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
