U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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