Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize