Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
