FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize