:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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