her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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