We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dignity is for republicans.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My liver just had a heart attack.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
