just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
