What a fucking waste of an outfit
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
