did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
