God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
