oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
