That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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