omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
