What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
