as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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