In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize