she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
