I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
