Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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