It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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