Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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