I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
