Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
