So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
