I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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