dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
