he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
