Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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