I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
