my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize