p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
