its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
