it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
