considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
