physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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