I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
