I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
