I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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